The Age Old Question

Last year, I sent out a postal that attempted to answer one of the greatest questions known to man: Who would win in a fight, pirates or ninjas?

After crisscrossing the country, visiting letterboxers, attending gatherings, and avoiding traps by the various anti-pirate and anti-ninja factions, it has returned home!

Here are the results:

Pirates would win in a fight: 19 votes
Ninjas would win in a fight: 21 votes

And one write-in vote for dinosaurs eating them all.

Read on for the highly scientific and totally based in fact reasons for voting.

Pro-Pirate:

"They have no moral code...while the ninja is whipping around, the pirate will use his cutlass." -Dewberry

"We may be drunks, but we are deadly! Slow of wit but sharp of blade, we shall rule the world!" -Kittenwithoutmittens

"Ninjas require a full face mask, but pirates can make do with but an eyepatch. And besides, pirates have a kick-butt flag!" -wassamatta u

"They have way cooler outfits and get to sail around in awesome ships!" -Bikercats

"Rat Queen says that if a ninja was after her, she'd run away. But if a pirate was after her, she would run away screaming. Mr. M7 says that the pirates would win because they have no honor. We all agree that dinosaurs would eat them all." -Murray7

"Pirates have the best music! Jigs, reels, hornpipes and Wages of Sin is a cool pirate-punk band!" -dbltall

"While the ninjas have the turtles, the pirates have Johnny Depp and Orlando Bloom. Plus pirates have cannons, guns and swords." -Team MTpt101

"They are like the Peter Pan of the sea. Stealing from the colonial powers who were stealing from the natives." -Anthrogradjess

"Mama Fox and Baby Fox are on the pirate side and it has nothing to do with Johnny Depp as Capt. Sparrow-ok, well, a little. And pirates have much cooler clothes and get to hang out at the beach-what more do you need?" -The Little Foxes

"With pirates as good looking as Johnny Depp and Orlando Bloom, we'll always win!" -Mama Bear

"The clothes say it all...one has style, the other is boring! And the weapons...little flying discs vs a cutlass & a black powder pistol." -Feather

Pro-Ninja:

"My sons are adamant that the ninja is the superior fighter-they think it's no contest!" -Dewberry

"This Jedi votes ninja-training is everything!" -SHH/The Inky Jedi

"I'm with the Jedi. My heart is with the pirates, but the ninjas have ruthlessness and discipline. A scary combination." -Dale End Farm

"Ninjas are sneaky. Pirates are drunk. Ninjas have stars and can attack from afar. Pirates are drunk and fumble for a sword. Ninjas are quiet and can stay that way for a long time. Pirates are always singing about drinking while they are drunk." -Littlemonkey

"The pirate might put up a good fight, but ninjas are scary, deadly dudes." -Celtic Quinn

"The pirates would be drunk and the well-trained ninjas would quietly take out each pirate till they were all 'dealt' with." -NeNe

"The pirates would be more fun at a party, but in a fight, the well-trained ninjas would win." -The Box Hunters

"1. Ninjas are mammals. 2. Ninjas fight ALL the time. 3. The purpose of the ninja is to flip out and kill people." -AfghanPenguin

"Ninjas have way better movies. Also, you only need one ninja to defeat a whole crew of pirates." -Lucky Charm

"Ninjas are awesome!" -DK

"While I think it would be great fun to hang out with Orlando Bloom (*wink*), I do think the ninjas could win battles-so ruthless and deadly." -Scrapper

"Foxy boy is convinced Ninjas would win...they are much sneakier and more elusive." -The Little Foxes

"Ninjas are totally cool!" -Baby Bear

"Ninjas would win-with the power of the cat." -Team BearCat

"I visited a ninja house in Japan and know that they are disciplined, sharp and STEALTHY." -Cat Eyes

"Ninjas are best because they wear black and they don't have to worry about getting seasick." -PAWS

"Stealth, agility, grace and incredible bodies-ninjas all the way! Besides, with all that rum pirates drink, they're too pickled to win!" -mudflinginfools

"Ninjas all the way! They are too quick for any pirates to get their swords or guns out!"-Gargoyle Girl

"They are better at distance and stealth fighting. Ninjas do have a code of honor, but that does not mean they are slow or weak! It is an advantage to be organized and disciplined." -The Gillespie Tribe